Friday, December 23, 2011

Update to A Reller Movie Reviewer

Hey folks its me!

I've decided that for future reviews that I will be having a certain theme each three or four movies. Themes could include films from a certain time era or a genre.I will also be taking request if anyone has any.

Please feel free to messgae if you have any questions.

See you soon.

Friday, December 2, 2011

King Dinosaur

    Well here I am again reviewing yet another 1950s dinosaur movie...Why are there two of these?!? I mean "Lost Continent" was bad really bad but for crying out loud why another one? I guess there is no use in complaining so lets blast off on another stock-footage rocket as we take a look at "King Dinosaur".
       So the movie begins with a narrator telling us how a new planet named Nova has been discovered and that a team of four scientists are being rocketed off to the planet(via stock-footage) to see if its suitable for mankind to colonize. No point in introducing the cast as they are about as interesting as paint chips not to mention that they look about the same as every other actor from the 1950s.
       Moving on the cast explores the planet which looks exactly like earth as the encounter several animals that you would find on earth such as a grouchy alligator and a kinkajou which take as a pet(what are the odds).

     Unfortunately the scientists get more than they bargained for when they meet the stranger inhabitants of Nova. They first run into an overgrown ant that is glowing like some stuck a light bulb up its butt which one of the characters promptly shoots to death within minutes of its appearance because you know that's what scientists when they discover a never before seen species of animal you blow its bloody head off!


    After that they notice that across the planet's ocean is an isolated island which they decide to check out. Things don't go as planned when they discover animals thought to be long dead millions of years ago. So they find themselves running from all sorts of beasties such as a mammoth which looks like an elephant with an over sized rug on its back, a giant armadillo(Stop laughing!!!) and big super-imposed reptiles.
Run for your lives!!!

But then they meet the baddest of them all; the terrifying, bloodthirsty King Di-
      Really Really?!? This is what we were building up to?!? A stupid Iguana?!? How lazy were directors back then at least lost continent had the decency to give us some actual dinosaurs even if they were silly looking.

Fear me!!!!

      Anyways the poor saps are terrorized by the *sigh* "dinosaur" and are trapped in a small cave. Its that this point in the movie that I need to address something. Twice in this movie there are several instances where the King Dinosaur fights with others dinosaurs(a monitor lizard and a juvenile alligator) this is done by forcing the actually animals to fight one another and in these fights both the animals appear to die especially when one of the lizards gets "death rolled" by the alligator which is seen explicitly(PETA grab you pitchforks and torches here). This was a nasty film practice that would rear its head again later on in the 1960 version of The Lost World.
      The characters manage to finally escape the "dinosaur" and leave the island on the raft they used to go there. Ok there is only a few minutes of the film left how do you suppose they're gonna end it? Well I'll tell you! It ends with a bang (literally) as one of the character says the most ridiculous and confounding things I've ever heard in a movie "I brought the atom bomb; I think its a good time to use it". How? How the hell did they bring a nuclear weapon with them on this mission? Actually the better question is why? Why would you feel the need to bring something like that on a scientific expedition?!? And so they nuke the island completely annihilating all life on the island in a massive mushroom cloud.

I love the ending exchange between two of the characters.
"We've done it!"
"Yeah, we sure have done it: Brought civilization to Planet Nova." You definitely did along with a nice dosage of radiation poisoning to boot.

And that was "King Dinosaur" and although its cheesy mess of a flick the nice upside to it is that it only a hour long and its great for a laugh because of how goofy it is so check it out! My recommendation to you is to see the MST3K version believe me your in for a treat! Until next time ladies and gentlemen!

My Rating
Cheesy Galore!!!