Monday, October 22, 2012

Candyman

 
                     

Hello again and welcome to another Halloween special here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer today we take a look the cult classic film Candyman. Based on The Forbidden a short story by Clive Baker. This flick tells the gruesome story about a vengeful spirit with a hook for a hand called Candyman who can be summoned to our world by saying his names five times while looking into a mirror(which is very similar to the legend of Bloody Mary). A young skeptic named Helen however believe this entity to nothing but a urban legend but she will soon learn that he is all to real...

This movie rules period! At first I wasn't very certain about this movie considering its title but one day I finally sat down and gave it a chance and you know what I'm glad I did.

                                

The first things that really stand out is the freaky music which is both creepy and hauntingly beautiful thanks to composer Philip Glass who sets the mood for the movie and the setting which takes place mostly in the projects of Cabrini Green which serve as an interesting stage for this bloody tale. The performances of the leads are amazing especially Tony Todd who brings the title character to life using his deep voice to to chill the bones of the audience right to the core. Virginia Madsen who plays Helen does a great job of convincing of portraying an at first confident young woman who is suddenly plunged into a spiral of murder and madness. There is some lovely gore with people getting "split from groin to gullet" which probably hurts like hell if I may add so fans of blood and guts rejoice!

The film was well received when it was released and had spawned two sequels Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh and Candyman: Day of the Dead both with Todd reprising his role although the quality of these films deteriorated with each. The role of Candyman helped Tony Todd gain the status he has today in the horror community and film in general. I had heard that there is the chance of a fourth film which will be set in New Zealand at an all girls college whether it will ever be made is unknown as of now but we can only hope.

So it goes without saying that I strongly recommend that you check this film out because once you start watching it your gonna be hooked till the end credits.

Thank you for reading stay tuned next time as we looked at a film filled with plastic terror titled Pin. Till next time everyone!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Playroom


Before we look at anything particularly good this October I felt that it was best to start from the bottom. Today's movie is Playroom a horror film from 1990 directed by Manny Coto who was the executive producer of the final season of Star Trek Enterprise and ha directed a number of films one being Dr.Giggles. Here we look at one of Coto's lost works and for good reason.

If there were any movies that I could have chosen for my Lost and Forgotten articles this would have definitely been one of them. I've done my best to scrounge what little info I could find on this thing but it looks like even the Internet forgot it even exist. I went on on few sites here and there and managed to find a few reviews so I'm glad I'm not the only one who has heard about this movie. I found a wikipedia page for it but it was practically skin and bones and it's Imdb page isn't much better either. I guess it doesn't help that the movie is not only available on VHS but out of print as well making a pain in the ass to find. As of 2012 there has not been a DVD release of this movie and I don't think there will be. Someone uploaded the entire movie onto Youtube but it has since been taken down so all one can really find i the trailer which is rather dull(See Below).

                               

So whats the story? A young archaeologist named Chris played Christopher McDonald(why do I get the feeling the name is a intended joke?) is haunted by his past remembering the night when his entire family was murdered during a dig. Determined to face his demons and complete his father's work he heads back to the ruins with his girlfriend, a photographer who is often drunk, and some chick who is a psychic or some shit. Anyways we find out that they are searching for the tomb of an ancient prince who had constructed a twisted "playroom" somewhere deep within the ruins somewhere. While digging Chris starts having illusions of his imaginary friend who keeps pestering him which slowly eats away at his sanity. Idiocy ensues...

The basis for this story sounds like an interesting idea for psychological horror right? Well it was but the direction and the performances of its actors botch the whole thing to hell. The first problem as I had just mentioned is the acting which ranges from being half-assed to absolutely over the fucking top. The biggest offender is the male lead McDonald who doesn't come off as scary when he snaps but just goofy.

For a movie about a torture chamber it really isn't all that bloody really. The only gooey moments is when one guy gets a pick axe to the gut and another gets his head shot off at the neck. The effects for the undead prince are decent enough even if the bony bastard looked like someone stuck a puppet on a stick.

The movie is not scary far from it as most of the characters meet their ends due to their stupidity and any sort of common sense not to mention the lack any tension or menace from both its antagonists and the setting. Simply put if your looking for a scare please do yourself a favor and skip this.

I had owned this movie on VHS for a long time now but for some strange and mysterious reason it vanished whether into the dusty corners of my home or was swept away by the unstoppable power of time either way its probably for the best.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Evil Dead Remake!


Note: I do not own The Evil Dead or any of the images or videos you see here.

Hey everyone I have some BIG news to share with all today. While looking through Youtube I came upon the official trailer of the upcoming remake of the Evil Dead and it looks AWESOME. I heard the rumors and was like many skeptical of whether or not this could be pulled off well considering that  many of the remakes of classic horror films have felt flat on their faces. The video is a bootleg but I saw enough to know a good gory film when I see one. Its nice to know that both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are both on board with this so relax folks its in good hands.

Bruce Campbell will not be reprising his role as Ash or be in the movie at all as he admits he is getting a little to old for the part. The characters will be played a young cast of mostly newcomers but I have confidence in their abilities especially since the guys behind the original have their backs.

It terms of special effects well see above that's one of the deadites from the movie and wow doesn't that look freaky. It was stated that there would be no CGI involved and most of the effects will be done using makeup and practical techniques.

Here is the bootleg trailer


I don't know about the rest of you but I cant wait to see this!

The Evil Dead is scheduled to be release next year in April on the 12th.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Movie News From Reeler

File:Frankenweenie (2012 film) poster.jpg

Hello everyone Reeler here with more news and updates here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer. Last Sunday I went down to the theater to see a little film called Frakenweenie an animated film directed by Tim Burton which is a remake of his old film from 1984 of the same name. It tells the story about boy and his dog but one day the dog is ran over and the grief stricken kid decides to use the power of science to bring his pal back from the dead.

Like Corpse Bride the animation style is stop motion animation along with other visual effects but this time the movie is completely black and white like the short film was which also pays homage to the monster movies back in the day "Frankenstein" obviously being one of them. While the animation does give the film an sort of Gothic look the facial expressions of many of the character look a tad bit stiff as if they all just had botox injections.

The plot is very straight forward: Dog dies, kid brings said dog back to life, hilarity ensues. Burton however tries to expand it in order to meet the standard running of a feature length film. If one was to take out what was added the movie would be alot shorter but here its a welcomed addition to this tail(see what I did there?). In terms of the characters there isn't alot to say. There are dozens of strange individuals but we never really take the time to get to know any of them as each of them as each defined by a single character trait; Victor is a genius who loves his dog, Bob is the fat kid, Edgar is essentially Igor, and the Weird Girl is well weird.

I went to see this in 3D which compared to other animated films is actually pretty good. However as I just said the movie is not that long with a running time of an hour and twenty minutes which is pretty damn short. So the price for a 3D show wouldn't be such a wise idea as the experience would be over as it had begun while leaving you $15 dollars shorter.

So is Frakenweenie a good movie? Yes its nothing groundbreaking or something you'll go to the theaters to see again but still a fun movie. Should you go to the theaters to see it? If I were you I would honestly just see it in 2D and save yourself some money.

So folks head to your local theater and see Frakenweenie this October! You'll wag your tail right off!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Hobgoblins

 

Note: I do not own Hobgoblins or any of the images you see here. I do however claim ownership of this review.

Where do I begin? I have no clue… I am truly lost for words on this. I have seen many movies in my lifetime. There are those that captivated and thrilled me and became precious memories I hold dear to me to this day. Then there are the films that leave me with my wrist bandaged and make me wake up screaming in the middle of the night completely covered in sweat asking myself “Why?!”. “Hobgoblins” is one of those.

I am talking about a movie so horrifying and mind numbingly bad that very few who view it ever live to speak of its evil. A movie so wretched that it makes other cinematic turds like “Howard the Duck” and “Garbage Pail Kids” seem more credible and believable. And believe me when I say this that is no where near an easy task.

Plot( I use the term loosely) revolves around a group of idiot teenagers who have a run in with a pack of Gremlin rejects that can grant your very deepest desire which will kill you in the end.

So, my dear reader, let us dive in to a realm of utter madness. A place that both the
bravest movie buffs and critics fear to tread and even if they did they may never return.

Our film begins as we see an elderly security guard making his way towards an old warehouse. He approaches another younger fellow guard named Dennis(there should be no reason to mention the guy’s name since he will dead in few minutes) who is lounging while blasting his eardrums with music whose artists will not be mentioned or credited in order to protect their dignity.

The old guard, named McCreedy(Jeffrey Culver) reprimands Dennis for missing a phone call and for being a lazy idiot then tells him its time to do their rounds. So they walk around a little and have some unimportant chit-chat until Dennis notices a room at the end of the hall where the plot device is most likely in.

Dennis asks the old guy what’s in there to which McCreedy responds by saying that there nothing in there and that it would be a waste of time to even bother. However convenient bad timing occurs when MacCreedy gets a call from some guy who we will never see or hear from again who wants him to come down so he can have a word with him. McCreedy tells his partner to finish up his patrol and not to go into that room which of course he is going to since whenever idiot characters like him hear the words “Not to”, “Don’t”, or “Do not” its basically translates to “Go on I dare you”.

 So not surprisingly Dennis goes to take a look. Inside the room he comes across a large bank vault surrounded by a steel bared cell which surprisingly isn’t locked. He goes in and opens the vault which two isn’t locked. Inside the vault there appears to be a green fog or steam from a fart that was trapped in there for a long time We then hear some odd growling which sounds like a starved and rabid Chihuahua as Dennis continues looking around the vault. He suddenly walks on to a stage with a microphone, a drum set, spotlights and all(don’t look at me I didn’t write it). The guy doesn’t question why its there as he hears the cheers of an invisible crowd (Most likely they couldn’t convince anyone to appear as extras for even a moment and I couldn’t blame any of them).

Dennis starts dancing around pretending that he is performing(in both senses) when suddenly and unconvincingly he falls off the edge of the stage. We then cut back to MacCreedy who quickly rushes upstairs to the vault room as if he knew the idiot was in there. His gut-feeling turned out to be right as we find Dennis lying dead from a three foot fall covered in blood or what looks to be gravy. Horrified MacCreedy rushes out and closes the vault this time actually locking it! Then we get the opening credits which unfortunately are not the closing credits. (At this point the unfortunate audience members are running for the exit with arms flailing in the air screaming like banshees).

In our next scene we see MacCreedy talking to his new recruit Kevin played by Tom Bartlett. MacCreedy gives Kevin the details about his new job and Kevin responds by sucking up to him. So Kevin is given the low down of the number one most important thing he is not suppose to do by MacCreedy which we all know he is going to screw up on otherwise there would be no plot and with no plot the movie would end sooner(Damn you Kevin! Damn you!). Well there’s no point crying about it now so lets move on.

So now we get to meet the rest of our “lovable” cast. We have Kevin’s girlfriend Amy, a snobby, sexually repressed little #$%&# who treats Kevin like dirt for not living up to her standards. There is the nerd Kyle who is more of a wimp than Kevin. Then there are Daphne and Nick two obnoxious sex crazed loved birds who will be the bane of my existence through out the film but all these characters have a little special place in my heart in that category.

Nick who has returned from Army camp starts bragging about his hand to hand combat skills and Kevin feeling annoyed and jealous about the topic wants to change the subject . Amy berates Kevin for not taking what Nick is saying seriously saying he might actually learn something and belittles him by comparing his job at the ware house to Nick’s service in the military. Every word that comes from this character’s mouth throughout this feels like having an ice pick jabbed under everyone of my toe nails there seems to be nothing but whiny complaints and acid soaked insults in her dialogue sheesh!

Nick then offers Kevin to teach him some hand-to-hand combat skills and despite Kevin’s protest everyone else takes it as a yes and they head outside. The two then take their positions on the lawn as the battle of movie history gets underway.

In this corner we have wimpy Kevin! His weapon of choice will be a garden hoe! And in this corner meathead Nick wielding a rather deadly grass roller! Fighters ready?Lets get ready to rumble!         ヽ(`Д´)ノ

So the two start going at it in probably one of the most poorly choreographed fight scenes I have ever had to sit through. I’m not kidding here! The two repeat the same moves again and again and again and again. If that wasn’t bad enough the whole thing last for three or four bloody minutes! Kevin gets his ass handed to him big time getting knocked down three times before the fight is finally over(seriously by the second time if I were him I would try my luck with a weed wacker or just bring out the power motor!).

So while Kevin rolls in the dirt clutching his gut Nick takes Daphne into his van and start having sex. No joke! You can even see the van the background rocking back and forth. Even though he lost I’m sure Kevin’s soft hearted, supportive girlfriend can give him some comforting words to lift his spirits! “You know you really embarrassed me?”-Amy. Um never mind actually. At this point in the movie I’m anxiously looking at my watch in hope that the Hobgoblins will show up and savagely chew these numb skulls’ heads off at the neck!

In the next scene we are at the warehouse right back where we started as we see Kevin and MacCreedy getting ready for the long nightshift ahead of them. You know as we watch this scene I can’t help but feel a foreboding sense of déjà vu. Oh hell please don’t tell me we’re trapped in some parallel world where the past is forced repeats itself everyday without end thus meaning I have to watch these same scenes for all eternity! Ok no that’s plane silly but believe it’d be a better alternative then having to sit through the completely incomprehensible and idiotic mayhem that is soon to come.

As Kevin ask for advice on how to please Amy(No innuendo intended) MacCreedy sees a suspicious looking man trying to sneak into the warehouse on the security camera which looks more like their watching an old black and white silent film. MacCreedy tells Kevin to stay at the guard post so he can provide back up if needed as he takes off to confront the burglar. He does as well as you’d expect him to do and gets himself captured with Kevin being the only person that can save him(Sorry old timer its been nice knowing you).

Kevin confronts the robber and actually manages to scare him off with the gun and he goes after him. While chasing him Kevin comes across the vault and believes that the crook is hiding inside(guess what happens next).

As expected the Hobgoblins get out and now its up to our dumbass of a hero and an elderly security guard with a glass hip to stop them...Not liking our chances.

You guys wanna see our hobgoblins? Well look below and feast your eyes on the face of fear itself!

                   

Not really scary huh? Well it doesn't help that the fucking things look like moldy sock puppets. Damn it the killer carpet monster from the Creeping Terror was more life like than this!

So in the next scene we have Amy, Kyle, and Daphene dancing to some crappy 80's music with the Hobgoblins watching them intently(Never a good sign).

Kyle goes outside and runs into a mysterious hottie who invites him for a little fun. He doesn't question the strange appearance of this women and only knowing her for less than a minute drives out to a lookout point to bang(Idiot).


                     

                                                    SHE-HULK MAAAAAD!

Things seem to be going smoothly when suddenly the chick tries to push the vehicle of the cliff. We are unfortunate however as Kevin comes to the rescue(DAMN IT KEVIN!). So with their combined might and dumb luck they manage to kill the hobgoblin in a fight scene that somehow managed to top the "garden tool duel".

The hobgoblins spend a bit of time fucking around with the cast before awaking Amy's own fantasy which is to become a stripper....The fuck?!?

Our heroes go to the club where Amy is at and despite having some trouble with a bouncer named Roadrash they mange to get in. Before we get to the finale we are subjected to several minutes of this club's shitty show and Amy strip teasing(Its not as good a it sounds) before Kevin rushes towards the stage to save her. And then chaos ensues big time!
  
The hobgoblins show up and this time decide to play with out military meathead causing him to believe that he is still in the service leading a dangerous raid while all around him his friends and the patrons are trying to kill the obnoxious green hand puppets. Nick’s commanding officer then suddenly tosses a hand grenade at him and it explodes seemingly killing him.


                             
                                   And There Was Much Rejoicing!

Kevin destroys the hobgoblins controlling and Amy and then fights the burglar(who for some unknown reason decides to show up) and emerges victories proving to his shallow girlfriend that he is isn't a pansy ass. However it turns out that its not over yet as the burglar pulls out a gun ready to blow off Kevin's empty head(Fingers crossed!). But MacCready saves the day(Crap... >_>) and shoots the bad guy down. Well the hobgoblins decide to book it back to the vault not knowing that the old man had rigged the places with explosives and blows them to hell and back.

The day is saved, Amy is a bit less of a prude, Kevin is a hero, and the only good news in this entire thing is that the hobgoblins managed to kill Nick(Although I was hoping for all of them to bite the dust but oh well...) so I guess it wasn-


He is alive...The guy threw himself on a live freaken grenade...and he is somehow nearly unscathed....



FUCK THIS MOVIE!!!! I'm so glad to be finally done with this my god never before has a movie angered me this much before and what makes it all the more worse is that Rick Loane the film's director made a sequel and yes at some point we'll sit down and have a look at that one as well but for the moment I'm going to take a break and have a cold one(I seriously need it). Stay tuned this month for all new reviews as we tackle the best and the worst of the Horror genre. See you guys next time.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile I've been busy with classes this semester so its been conflicting with my writing but I promise I will try to get new articles up as often as I can.