Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A Lost and Forgotten Movie: Twice Upon a Time

     Hello folks its Reeler here and welcome back! Today's review is VERY special. We are going to take a look at a rare film that few had seen or even heard about. Twice Upon A Time a 1983 animated film directed by John Korty and produced by Bill CouturiĆ© and George Lucas (yes that George Lucas). You haven't heard of it? Well I cant really blame you until the Internet was all powerful very few people did so before we dive into the actual film a little history.
     Before its release the movie went through a number of edits resulting in two versions of the movie mainly due to the language. One version of the movie had PG language as to not alienate a younger audience while the other had some Adult language.  One thing to keep in mind that the language was just one of the many things changed. The Ladd Company; the studio distributing the film was in a bit of a pickle since they were nearing bankruptcy and had to decide as to how they would release the film. On one hand they could give the movie a limited release or go balls out an release it world wide. Eventually they decided to do the former and the movie ended up being a box office failure. Despite that the movie has garnered a cult following and is considered to be one of the most important stop-motion films.
     To this day the film has yet to get a DVD release and its soundtrack is no where to be found. However despite this you can find the movie on Youtube right now and a rentable download on Amazon. Click the link here to see the film on Youtube:
      Now on to the actual movie. The plot of the story takes place in the city of Din where its inhabitants the Rushers go about their everyday business only stopping when it is time to sleep. This city lies between two different one is the bright and happy Frivoli where Greensleeves; a sandman like characters and his little friends called Figmen bring peaceful dreams to the Rushers. The other world is the dark factory-like world called Murkworks where our villain the mustache twirling Synonamess Botch who wants to get rid of Greensleeves so he can plague the Rushers with endless nightmares. Using his vulture henchmen he captures the Figmen and Greensleeves but not before the later sends out an S.O.S to Frivoli. This is where me meet our two unlikely heroes; Ralph The All Purpose Animal and his friend Mumford a silent fellow who looks a lot like Charlie Chaplin who soon become the only hope for both Frivoli and the City of Den as they set off on their strange adventure. I'm not going explain the entire plot because I feel this is one of those special little movies that you should see at least once.
       The film uses Cutout animation which is a technique that involves using flat characters, props, and backgrounds to create an animated sequence. An example of this was the very first episode of South Park before they switched to computer animation. Movie's animation from beginning to end is pretty impressive adding a surreal feel to the world and its characters.
       The casting for this film consists improvisational comedians mostly because that all the studio could afford to hire remember they were facing bankruptcy. However despite that the actors do a pretty damn good job portraying the characters. Honestly if you were to call in big name actors to dub over the original voice acting it really wouldn't fit for some reason maybe because the film(to me at least) feels very down to earth and not a big flashy animated flick like we have today.
      I remember first seeing Twice Upon a Time way back when I was little. There used to be a segment on Cartoon Network called Cartoon Theater which would show movies late at night. While the name didn't stick itself in my head the images and the characters did and it drove me crazy for years. When I finally got ahold of the Internet I typed in anything I could remember into the browser and voila I found it! Man so many memories came rushing back.
     Personally I loved this movie I feel that its an underappreciated classic that needs more attention and hopefully one day a DVD release however thanks to the Internet the movie has been saved from falling into obscurity and really becoming a Lost and Forgotten Movie. So please when you get the chance check it and see some great animation.

Thanks you for reading! Please feel free to share your comments below the article and if you have the time share your experience about the film if you have either seen recently or in the past. That's all for now folks but stay tuned for future reviews and movie news here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer! :D

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

News and Updates

Hey everyone what is up? So its been awhile since I did one of these so a News and Updates article has been way overdue so here we go!

So as you can tell from looking down the page we are still currently running down the list of The Evils of the 21 Genres which I will have a new article for every few days.

Since we are moving into the Fall I will be preparing a list of new reviews some consisting of films from last year that I unfortunately didn't get a chance to cover. I also want to try something a little different. What is it? Well that's currently a secret and I'm still playing with the idea.

I have recently been joined the Dark Discussions Podcast which looks at horror movies and everything awesome. My first discussion is currently being edited but please visit the site by clicking the link below.

For my eightieth article here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer I will be doing a special review on my segment that I like to call A Lost and Forgotten Series where we look at a little movie from the 1980s.

That's all for now ladies and gentlemen so stay tuned for new articles and news here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer!

Teen Titians Go

     Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Hello everyone and welcome back to my personal hell here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer! Some time back I reviewed the animated TV show Teen Titans a show that I really enjoyed in my youth and still do so when I heard that there would be a new series coming to Cartoon Network I was excited. Then I saw the previews...Just look at the image above like seriously look at it. The original show focused on action, character development, and some genuine drama. What does Teen Titans offer it audience? The same tired crap that's been churned over and over. No doubt this "thing" was created to cash in on the success of the original show.

     Maybe I shouldn't really be all that surprised since the creators of the show Michael Jelenic and
Aaron Horvath admitted in a interview that they had never seen the original so I guess that's what I get for being optimistic. Then again the show was based off a series of shorts using the same character designs soooooo yeah...

     Alright so what is the plot for this thing? Well take our team of teenage superheroes and instead of them dealing with their pasts or inner conflicts lets just throw them into adventures filled with wacky hijinks! Everything that people remember from the old show is pretty much tossed out the window and turned in a mediocre comedy. Sure there are characters like Trigon, Jinx, and others heroes and villains who make a return but they are not the same characters! Everyone's personality is warped into a running gag like Raven being a creepy Goth but still watches a cartoon filled with ponies an obvious shout out to Tara Strong who no only played Raven but a character in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Oh yeah I forgot to mention most of the original cast returned to their respective roles...Even Ron Perlman who plays Slade(*Slams head against keyboard*). It not really funny as some of the gags feel recycled or just fall flat most of the time. The first time I watched an episode of this show I just sat there on my couch with my face in my hands. My biggest problem is its change of tone and the fact that I was a fan of the original. Any other critiques I may have are mostly nitpicks but I think you get the idea.

      The whole thing is just a downgrade and the backlash from fans was pretty heavy. What were they thinking!? Was this the best the creators could do? What makes it all the more worse is that the show is getting renewed for a second season. WHY?!!? I weep for this generation of kids if what they are getting is crap like this. I know I'm past that age but seriously Cartoon Network what the fuck?

     Ok allow to take a deep breath and collect my thoughts. The show is not the worst or even that bad(Although its still crap) its harmless so your kids, siblings, and little cousins can watch it. The problem though is that this show should never have been made. I mean if you were to bring back a popular show like the Teen Titans why this then? Maybe the show will grow the beard and get better or perhaps it will get new people interested in the franchise. Despite my ranting I don't necessarily hate Teen Titans Go but I really hopes it dies during its second season.

     I'm going to grab a cold one and relax for a bit maybe stream some episodes of the old show. Thanks for reading and I'll see you guys next time here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer.

Monday, August 26, 2013

The Worst Adventure Film

      The winner of being the Worst Adventure Movie on my list this train wreck right here. Take a beloved animated series then condense an entire season into a 103 minutes. Then white wash the once diverse cast of characters while removing their personalities and charm. Throw in some shitty action sequences and eye burning 3D and you have The Last Air Bender! When choosing the movie in the adventure genre I almost considered The Lost Continent; the very first movie I had ever review for this blog but I knew that wasn't good enough considering the anger and pain that the topic of our current discussion had caused to both movie goers and fans of the series.
    I should have seen this coming considering the movie was being directed by M. Night Shyamalan the same "genius" who brought us the hilariously bad film The Happening and Signs a movie where the invasion of earth by highly advanced aliens was foiled by doors and boarded up windows. The whole thing is a mess and even if you were not a fan of the show chances are you wouldn't know what the flying fuck was going on. The acting was shit as well with only two actors out of the entire cast putting in any sort of effort. It so badly paced that the audience never gets a chance to develop the characters so we cant get invested in their struggles if we don't care.
    The fight scenes were embarrassing especially considering how much Shyamalan butchers the mythos and the rules of the setting. For example Earthbenders(who can control the soil and rocks around them) have to perform a dance routine just to lift a small rock that you and I could pick up easily with both hands and then have another guy throw it at one bad guy. Another example are the Firebenders(Take a guess what they control) can only wield flames from existing sources like a torch where in the series they can summon powerful streams of fire from their hands.
     The film is not fun, exciting, or even funny its just dull and a chore to sit through. The film was met with a lot of backlash from critics and the public. It currently has only 6% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 4.4 on IMD, and if that wasn't enough it received nine nominations at the 31st Golden Raspberry Awards winning five among those being Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3D, and most importantly Worst Picture. Only three years have passed and its still has left a sour taste in the mouths of those unfortunate enough to see it. I cannot stress this enough when I say stay away from The Last Air Bender I mean it stay away!
      For these reasons I crown The Last Air Bender as the Worst Adventure Film.

Did you see this film? If so share your experience in the comments section below this article and stay tuned for future reviews here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Worst Animated Film

     Animation is capable of doing incredible things. It can craft a landscape, create memorable characters, and inspire the imagination. When I think of good animation I think of the classic films of Disney or Pixtar. When I think of bad animation there are a few notable offenders but they were all cast into the dark shadow of my choice for the Worst Animated Film of all time: Ali Baba and the Gold Raiders. Created by IDF Films(Whoever these guys are) and Joseph Lai this "film" is one of their many bargain bin abominations alongside the infamous Beauty and Warrior. The animation for this thing is the worst I have ever seen with very few contenders I mean this shit is butt ugly and actually made my eyes burn. The movie pads itself out with moments of repeated sequences of the same animation like in the opening scene where we watch Ali Baba ride his donkey through a desert for what feels like five minutes. The voice acting is laughable you can these people did not know what the fuck they were doing. There is no sense of continuity, no logic, and it looked like it was put together by seven different animators who were high off their asses. The ending is the icing on the cake as the film takes a plunge into pure insanity during the climax when Ali Baba and his wife have to fight off the raiders. The animation actually becomes worse than it was through most of the movie and ends mid climax as if animator finally snapped while working and just wanting to put an end to the madness as quickly as possible. I really don't know what else to say but that this movie was so bad that it wasn't hard for me to make a choice. I cannot imagine there being a piece of animation worse than this because if there is than God help us all. For these reasons I crown Ali Baba and the Gold Raiders as the Worst Animated Film.

If you want a taste of the horror here is a link below to the first part of the movie. The uploader for some reason hasn't put up the rest of the movie but I think you really need to see this much to know how bad it is.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more articles here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer! :)

Saturday, August 24, 2013

The Worst Family Film

      If you have never heard of this movie then count yourself lucky. Nukie is simply put one of many  E.T ripoffs released in an attempt to cash in on Spielberg's box office success. Yet despite there being films like Mac and Me and even a couple of pornos Nukie stands above all those as the absolute worst ever created. What kind of asshole would buy this for his/her family and force them to watch it? By the end of this movie you'll be praying for death or be left without a single brain cell. The whole thing is a total mess in every aspect. The story is disjointed with a number of glaring plot holes and using pointless exposition whenever it cut between scene that add nothing but just pad the whole thing out making even longer than it should have been. The effects are cheesy as all hell the worst being the titular character whose costume looks like a piece of walking shit with eyes that cant even work properly. Its annoying, unfunny, and without any wonder or charm. Seriously if I was to list all of the offenses committed by Nukie it would be hauled into court to be tried for crimes against humanity. Its for these reasons that I crown Nukie as the absolute Worst Family Film.

Stay as far away from this movie as possible...Or if you are feeling brave click on the link below to watch the whole thing on Youtube by clicking on the link below. You have been warned.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Worst Horror Movie

     Well here its my dear audience. For the honor of being the worst horror movie ever created I present to you AX 'EM from 1992. The movie at its surface sounds like your typical Slasher flick until you actually pop it in and find out that it something far more than terrifying and insidious(Not in a good way either). You know you are walking into a storm of flying vomit and shit when your horror movie starts with a dance sequence and then a damn "Yo Mama" contest. The sound is crap especially when most of the time you cant hear what any of the characters is saying not that they have anything of interest to say in the first place. The picture quality is lousy too looking like someone shot it the entire on some cheap camcorder. But what about the story? Ha! What story? They give us some sort of back story but it really doesn't matter because nothing comes together and your just sitting there scratching your head trying to figure out what the hell you just watched. The movie currently has a lovely rating of 1.2 on IMDb being ranked lower than such classics like Baby Geniuses 2, Disaster Movie, and Space Mutiny. Overall its a total train wreck that needs to be seen to believed and why it has earned its place here on this site as the Worst Horror Movie Ever Made.

Feel free to express your opinion in the comments section below the article. Stay tuned for future reviews and choices for my list of The Evils of The 21 Genres!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Worst Science Fiction Movie

     This movie probably doesn't need an introduction so this is going to be a bit short. When this blog was young and small 1965s Monster A Go-Go! was among my earliest review and had earned a spot on my list of the top ten dumbest things I ever seen. This movie is without charm or any redeeming qualities and is an absolute pain in the ass to sit through from beginning to end. Every minute I sat there staring at that screen I felt like my eyes were being stung by giant bees before its infamous ending blasts me in the face with the shit cannon. Sure there were other stinkers back in the day but at least they were fun. This is anti-fun! Hell even the MST3K crew considered it to be the worst film ever featured on the show. For these reasons I dub Monster A Go-Go to be the absolute worst Science Fiction film ever filmed!

Feel free to express your opinion in the comments section below the article. Stay tuned for future reviews and choices for my list of The Evils of The 21 Genres!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The Evils of the 21 Genres!

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! Today I'm beginning a long and terrifying quest for the site. I am going to seek out the worst movies and TV shows to ever plague our world. And when I mean the worst I mean THE WORST. Sure it maybe a bit based off varying opinions but I'll be damned if don't at least get close.

Listed below are 21 different genres and for each one I will find a movie and/or TV show that earns the honor of sitting upon the throne of shit. You guys can help contribute but either giving suggestions or doing a bit of digging or just give your opinion in the comments section below.

Every so often I will post the choice of a certain genre(not in the order you see here) explaining why I felt it deserved this "honor" and some info about it as well. I will try to get them posted as quickly as I can so be patient please.


Science Fiction





Reality TV










Game Show





That's all for now everyone wish me luck and I will see you all next time! :)

The Clash Of The Titans Drinking Game!!!

What is going on people! After my long review of Clash Of The Titans 1981 from way back I had this idea stirring in my head and it wasn't long before I ended up putting it together and sharing it with you all today.

Its the Clash Of The Titans Drinking Game!!! \(≧∇≦)/ *hiccup*

That's right people a drinking game! I know its not the first drinking game made for this movie hell I've seen ones for that shitty remake but mine is quite special. Not only will it leave you more hammered than a hundred nails but its exciting, challenging, and a buttload of fun!

First off you will need the following materials listed below

Booze! Lots and lots of booze! Whether its beer or liquor you need this its a drinking game after all!

Several shot glasses one for each player if you are playing friends.

A piece of paper and a pen which will be used to keep score. This is if you guys want test your endurance or have a last man standing showdown.

So here are the rules for the game. When ever the following occurs you must follow the rules and perform the action as instructed.

1. Whenever there is a scene on Mount Olympus you drink.

2. If there is any nudity take three drinks.

3. If Perseus uses his helmet take 2 drinks.

4. When a mythical creature appears take a drink.

5. If a monster dies finish your drink.

6. Whenever Perseus loses one of his magical items take 2 drinks.

7. Drink whenever there is any kind of dismemberment.

8. Drink when one of Perseus' companions dies.

9. When Perseus flies on Pegasus you drink.

10. If the Kraken appears down your entire drink.

That's all there is to it. Have fun!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

The Conjuring

     Hello my dear audience and welcome back to another review here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer. Today we are going to take a look at the new horror sensation now out in theaters everywhere and near you "The Conjuring". The movie was released on July 19 receiving very impressive reviews and is still raking in cash quickly becoming a box office hit.

    While the opinion of the general public is mainly positive the question some people are asking is it really as good as all the hype is making out to be? Well fear not because I have because I have the answer right on the tip of my fingers. The movie is....decent. Now before anyone starts flaming and getting all butt-hurt I can explain my opinion.

     The first thing you will notice from the image above the movie is director by James Wan the guy who made Saw and Insidious two other films that made an impressive amount of money. The dude just seems to have a hidden ability for making horror films that perform well in theaters when compared to the current competition(which ain't much).

    Also one can tell right off the bat that we are in for another ghost story. In addition the plot is apparently based on a true event or to be exact as case file of the Warrens. Interestingly enough the Warrens are real. Ed and Lorraine were paranormal investigators who were involved in a number of cases involving ghost and sometimes demons. Now of course there is going to be a division between the people going "Cool!" and those blurting "Bullshit!". Now I have seen this kind of thing a lot in Hollywood so I'm not going to dwell on it because we have a lot to talk about.

Note: There are going to be a number of spoilers in this article which will I will warn you of when I put "SPOILERS!" at the start of certain paragraphs where I will be talking about certain plot points. So keep that in mind before continuing reading.

The film tells the story of the Perrons; an American family that moved into an obviously rather creepy house in Harrisville, Rhode Island. At first everything seems all fine and dandy but then strange things start to happen like finding their dog dead one morning, strange noises and the smell of rotten meat. It gets so out of hand that the family needs to recruit the help of Ed and Lorraine Warren two paranormal investigators who quickly learn the horrible truth about the house.

     As you can tell that its a very basic premise and which the film basically sticks to from beginning to end. In addition the film borrows a number of elements from other movies which to me really didn't help its story at all.

SPOILERS: It turns out that the perpetrator of the hauntings is a witch from Salem who makes mothers butcher their own children. Its a fairly predictable twist and its revealed quite quickly so there isn't any mystery to what is causing it because the audience now already knows. What worse it actually had the gal to use a tragic event like the Salem Witch Trials and event in which innocent people were falsely accused and executed and actually portray them as actual witches is fucking messed up not to mention absolute bullshit.

     The movie has a nice atmosphere which James Wan utilizes to try to build tension leading up to the many scares. Dark basements, closets, and a rather large and freaky tree that has some history of its own. That was one of the film's best traits along with its use of lighting.

      Now that I have gotten those things out of the way lets talk about the scares. An interesting thing I should mention the movie compared to other haunted house flicks that are usually rate PG-13 this one is a sold R. But there is a twist. The movie is not very violent, has no sex or nudity, and at best mild language. So why is it Rated R? Because it is too scary. That's right a movie is so scary that it needed to be given a restricted rating.

      So the question that you may be asking now is whether or not that this movie live up to they hype. My answer: Kind of/Not really....

      Despite what you may have heard The Conjuring is no where near as terrifying as everyone is making out to be and to be perfectly honest not "Scary". Now I called the movie decent and that's what it is but it was still fun. I really enjoyed my first screening of it watching with the audience freak out, There was a big dude next to me covering his face most of the time while a friend of mine threw handfuls of popcorn on me as I laughed at her misfortune. That when movies like this are at their best when you see them with a large crowd or some friends.

     Now I may be using an old argument but I feel that it still has much relevance when it comes to horror and suspense. There is a difference between being startled and being scared shitless. Genuine fear is difficult to do but when its done right it is done fucking right. However as of late many horror movies have become reliant on jump scares whether its a door slamming shut, a scare chord squealing loudly in your ears, or a ghoul jumping out of the shadows screaming. However its understandable since lately its been difficult to bring anything new to the table considering we've been getting a butt load of remakes and prequels.

     You see when it comes to jump scares they are shocking the first time through since you don't know what is coming next so you sitting their anxiously waiting for the payoff. But if you were to watch again later it may not have packed the same punch as it did before. I tested this out when I went to see it a second time with a friend who yet to see it. As I had expected I sat there still and quite scare after scare as did my pal. After the movie I asked him about this and he said that he has seen so many films like this that he knew pretty much every trick in the book.

      While some people may be immune to jump scares or they have bowls of a dying possum the first half of the movie is at much enjoyable but as I said in a group or large audience. The second half though is rather disappointing. Spoilers pending...

SPOILERS: After finding out the witch's intention the Warrens try to do everything they can to keep the spirit from possessing the mother. However by using their daughter as bait the witch kidnaps two of the Perron children and tries to sacrifice them. However our heroes arrive just and time and the rest of the movie goes into Exorcism territory. The problem here is not only has there been a lot of exorcism themed movies over the years but also we know that the Perrons and the Warrens will survive which removes any sort of tension. The ending borders on sappy and leaves us with a sequel hook letting us know this wont be the last time we will follow the Warrens and their dog Scooby Doo as they got another mystery to solve.

     I know I've been hard on this movie and really despite the listed flaws its harmless honestly but give it a couple of years and very few people will remember this movie compared to classic movies that came out twenty years before. If you like ghost stories give it a shot but if your not that big into that genre or horror movies in general then I would say wait for it to come out on DVD.

Until next time everyone this is Reeler and I will see you all in the next review. 

Saturday, August 10, 2013

The Last Stand: Dead Zone

     Hello everyone and welcome to a new flash game review! As of late I have been playing a MMORPG by the name of The Last Stand: Dead Zone another entry in the Last Stand series which are zombie games in which you battle hordes of bloodthirsty corpses just like every other zombie game out there...

    This game however tries something a bit different from its previous entries. It mixes up elements from the Sims along with survival horror elements. You command a base camp for those lucky enough to have survived the initial outbreak where you must make everyone is safe and happy while also fighting off the dead and the living.

     You start the game with your Leader survivor and the basic materials for building as well as some food and water. You can restock these by building drop off stations, gardens, water collectors or by going out into the ruins of Union City and scavenging.

    At the top right corner of your screen is your gasoline which is both your currency for special items and to speed up travel. In short gasoline is your everything. Not only is it rare to find but also the only way to acquire more in a short period of time is to actually pay for more. Yeah that's right you need to spend hard earned cash on this crap. So if there is someone with a lot of extra cash in his/her pockets they can easily pay their way to the top while everyone else is slowly grinding their way to the next level.

     Aside from gather supplies and materials to create structures and new equipment you will have to defend your compound. Usually at least once a day a horde of zombies will descend on your ass and you have to hold them off until the timer runs out. Its rather easy to beat these bastards since they just keep attacking in the same pattern never changing their tactics. Like they are in most movies today the zombie has pretty much been reduced to cannon fodder. The real danger are the rest of the players.

    Spread across the map are different settlements each owned by another player. You can either help a them by removing some time from their building process or you can be a total dick and attack them in hopes of stealing of their resources. Both of these choices can result in the following respectively: The player might become an ally and you can create an alliance OR he/she will retaliate and rock your ass like hurricane. In the time I spent playing I have only been attack once while I was away from the game but surprisingly I lost very little of my resources and my guys managed to drop two of the bastards survivors so hurray for me!

      Really aside from what I have told you there really is not a whole lot to Dead Zone. It does not have many features and the gameplay never changes. At best its a game you should play if you have extra time on your hands other than that I'd say skip it. :/