Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Mystic Guardians

     Hey everyone what's going on Well after browsing the web I found an odd little flash game on the Armor Games website. Mystic Guardians a free MMORPG that is blatant rip-off  of Pokémon. This is not the first time someone had tried to cash in on the success of the popular franchise hell there have been a number of copycats over the years but I found this one to be particularly glaring.
     Mystic Guardians  starts off you playing as either as a boy or a girl and are awoken by your best friend soon to be rival as you head off to acquire your very first monster which like Pokémon is one of three elements: Earth, Fire, and Water. And just like Pokémon as soon as you get your first Guardian you fight your rival.
     From this point forward you pretty just go around talking to people, catching Poke- I mean Guardians, fighting other owners, and doing the occasional side quest. And that's it really seriously you could just buy yourself one of the older Pokémon games and you'd be getting the same deal except a lot more fun.
      Gameplay is just like Pokémon in which you send out a Guardian to fight your opponent selecting from their arsenal of abilities and take turns beating the shit out of one another till one of them falls unconscious. And yes you earn exp from your victories and once you Guardians level up enough they evolve into new forms.
      I'm seriously having a hard time finding much to talk about here that doesn't instantly end with me mentioning Pokémon. Its not a horrid game mind you. Its colorful and its a decent way to pass an hour or two but its not original and doesn't even try to hide the fact that its a rip-off.
      You easily find Mystic Guardians on Armor Games. As I said its free but it does require you to create an account for the site which is also free of charge.
     So conclude yet another review please stay tuned for future reviews, articles, and episodes of Dark Discussions Podcast here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer! See you later!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Dark Discussions Podcast: Carrie

      In this new episode of Dark Discussions the crew and I take a look at the 1976 film adaption of Stephen King's Carrie directed by Brian De Palma. We will also be looking at this year's remake of the same name retold by Kimberly Pierce and compare the two.

The link to the episode is here

Stay tuned for future episodes and I'll see you guys next time here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer!

Sunday, November 10, 2013


     Hello everyone and welcome back to A Reeler Movie Reviewer. Today's review is going to be simply painful and I mean painful. The Subject? An ugly little anime and manga series by the name of Eiken. If you never heard of it then it shouldn't be a surprise since few have but to me that's a good thing.
     Before we dive in I'm going to tell you now that this article wont have any images or video from the show. Why? Because due to the series' content if anyone saw said images and videos they would A: be very offended and complain to the higher ups or B: disembowel themselves with a rusty tea spoon. So for the good of this blog and you my dear audience I wont show anything from this monstrosity. However if you still wanna see for yourselves then don't say I didn't warn you.
      So what is the story? Densuke is your average teenager(like almost every other anime protagonist) has been accepted to a prestigious school called Zashono Academy that comprises of thousands of students. What is this academy and what makes it so special? No idea we are practically told nothing about it and learn nothing else for the duration of the anime. Its just a cheap setting with no bearing on the bare bones plot we have here.
       While walking amongst the other students Densuke crashes into a girl falling face first into her marshmallow airbags. The girl is Chiharu a clumsy shy girl(how original) whose breast seem to comprise of 75 percent of her body. These things are huge and while the show jokes that they are F-cups they look like they are in H and J range. They look ridiculous I cant believe she is able to move around without having to carry those things in a wheelbarrow.
        So after bumping into his obvious love interest their little moment is interrupted by the bat shit crazy Kirika flies in suddenly wanting to recruit Densuke into the Eiken club(its name having no real meaning). What is this club and its importance? No one knows! The club is never explained its only real purpose being to surround our sad excuse for a protagonist with a bunch of big breasted woman. Funny how seems to happen often in anime.
        From here on out the anime devolves into a series of grotesque moments of fanservice that desperately tries to be sexy but instead comes off a misogynistic, ugly, disgusting, and forced. For example Kirika has a fondness for phallic shaped foods that she enjoys sucking on and she is seen doing a lot. Or how about the 11 year old who out of everyone in the cast has the biggest rack(Sorry for the image :P).
      The only thing that can actually be considered to be a plotline is the school's tournament in which Densuke needs to participate in so can win the heart of Chiharu from it champion and pretty boy Shima but even this is just a set up for more boobs, ass shots, and scenes with Kirika deep throating chocolate bananas!
       Not surprisingly Eiken got its ass kicked here in the use from both critic and viewer alike receiving scathing reviews from just about every anime source I could find.
        Over all Eiken is a big inflated piece of steaming shit I can not recommend to anyone not even the most low class and brain dead members of the human species. Stay as far away from this abomination as you can.
        So concludes another review stay tuned for future articles and new episodes of Dark Discussions Podcast! Now if you'll excuse me I need to have a little chat with my computer...


Monday, November 4, 2013

Dark Discussions Podcast: Rabies

     In today's episode the gang and I take a look at the 2012 Israeli thriller titled Rabies(or Kalvet in it original language).

The link to the episode is below.

Enjoy I'll see you all next time here on A Reeler Movie Reviewer!